Too Many Options? Not Enough People?
Is dating really this hard? Why can’t I find someone? Swipe Right. Swipe Left. Wink. Flirt. WOW!!! The options are endless. There are so many ways to meet people today compared to times past, yet we find ourselves in an angry dating culture frustrated, bitter, and let down about the possibility of finding our perfect partner. Why is this? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 107 million people who identified as single/unmarried in 2014. Additionally, according to the Statistic Brain Research Institute, over 40 million people worldwide have tried online dating. Holy cow!!!! With 107 million single people in the US alone, and over 40 million people trying online dating, how is it humanly possible to be single and unable to find the one?
It's About DISCOVERY!!!
It is difficult to be objective in dating situations. So much is at stake. Is he the one? Is she wife material? Will my kids like him? Why is he only talking about himself? Is she always getting drunk like this? Yes…these are real questions from many of my clients about their dating situations. As Quenton Stroud-Reese, Spiritual Life Coach and owner of Insight into You suggests, we must think of dating for the amazing experiences and information it provides us. Why are we so upset when things don’t work out? Because we make dating EMOTIONAL! As the emotion expert, I can adamantly tell you life cannot exist without emotions. It isn’t about denying our emotions, it is more about learning to recognize that it is our expectations, limiting beliefs, and negative energy blocks that creates the barriers to truly enjoying the dating experience for its truth…DISCOVERY!!!
Relating vs. Controlling
Think about how many times you showed up to the table only to interview the person vs. truly allowing an opportunity of relating to emerge. Were you truly trying to relate or were you trying to control? Think about this for a minute. When we are truly relating and wanting to discover and learn, we engage in active listening without judgement, we are emotionally attuned to our date, and we are open to receiving whatever messages the Universe is going to send about the experience. Avoid over generalizing the experience to all men or all women. If your immediate thought is OMG…he is crazy. OMG she is not for me. There is no need to get overly upset, hurt, frustrated about the outcome. Thank the Universe for providing you with this opportunity to learn about what you don’t want as well as what you do want. Stay present and acknowledge that there is an amazing individual out there for you and this just simply isn’t the one. Surrender, release, move forward. When negative emotions consume after a dating experience we are trapped in our own limiting beliefs about the potential we have in finding our perfect partner. If you go to bed at night saying that all men are the same or all women lack this and or that, guess what will continue to happen for you? You will continue to attract men and women who lack what you are looking for.
Dating is discovery! Stay open to the possibilities. Connect with the Universe or your Higher Power and say things like “Men are strong, confident, and caring”…”Women are beautiful, loving, and kind” and I guarantee you will see a shift in your own energy and the Universe will reward you tenfold. Practice your intentions to put forth your most authentic self and your human desire to relate and be understood. I know for certain your dating life will change with your changing mind set.
Now go get out and call in that perfect partner! You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are deserving!
From the Bottom of My Heart,
Dr. Renee